Attract Happiness With Humor

So, now you know all about the Law of Attraction. Don’t you wish you had found out about all of this a little bit earlier? I know I do. And yet again, as those wacky Buddhists say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

You, apparently, were ready, and so the Law brought you information about the Law of Attraction. Maybe you saw the movie The Secret, and you agreed, “why yes, I WOULD like a shiny new car!” Or maybe you started sneaking through the Metaphysical book aisle in search of the perfect relationship. Or maybe you’re just crafty as the day is long, and your vision board is a Martha Stewart Gone Mad representation of your Future Perfect Life.

And yet. And yet. You’re still driving your 1992 Geo Prizm (on good days, when you have money for gas!) You’re still up all night getting hot and heavy with, desperately winking across cyberspace in an effort to attract a mate. And you’re starting to resent the hell out of your visionboard: “You bastard! You promised me thin thighs and gucci bags! What the hell is wrong with you?”

My friends, I totally feel you. But take a deep breath, relax, and know that truly, truly, all is well. Here’s all you need to know to turn that frown upside down:

1. There’s nothing wrong with the Law of Attraction–after all, it IS continuing to bring you experiences! And there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just Good Old Ego that’s got you in your own worst grip. Ego is all about criticism and judgment–that’s just how It Gets Down. You can always tell when Ego’s in the driver’s seat of your consciousness because you feel very, very serious. Very serious and heavy and itchy, like your Huge Rich Expansive Soul is shut up inside your Grandma’s old carpetbag, and now you got to live in it forever. So, now you know what’s going on, and now you can take appropriate action!

2. You know your thoughts become things, so you need to choose some better feeling thoughts. Sometimes I’m so freaked out I just can’t THINK of any better thoughts without immediately feeling like crap because I know I’ll never be able to manifest them. But I can always choose funnier thoughts–sometimes the worse I feel the funnier they get. Like wow, I am so excited for my vision board’s Caribbean vacation–I really hope it has fun while I’m stuck here trying to get a job at Wal Mart. The exact nature of your lighter thoughts is not important, so long as they make you laugh.

3. In the words of my dear friend Abraham (for the best LOA info around go to, remember you are not here to get it done. You are not here to make progress. You are here to experience outrageous joy. And joy is always a place you can go, especially when you can laugh your ass off on the way there. And once you keep choosing that path, lesser things like cars and mates and tropical resorts will be chasing you down like bandits. Like Christmas Moms clubbing each other to seize this year’s version of Tickle Me Elmo. That’s how crazy the world will go over Wonderful, Wonderful you.

Be Well My Fellow Travelers. Use the Force! Force that Force to work for you! You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and Goddamnit, people like you! (And even if they don’t, they would if they were tied up in your basement for long enough, so you got that going for you.)

Love, Ellen

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